A Hideous Strength

Isn’t it funny how someone can just slip right into your life and change everything you’ve ever known? Isn’t it funny how they can slip right out also?
And everyone has something different to offer, just as I have different things to offer them. An honest opinion, thoughtful advice, a lesson in life, relief from a broken heart, strength when you’re the one doing the breaking, a poop joke when you need to smile.
I must say, a little over halfway into 2009 and I’ve had some of the highest and lowest points of my life. I’ve never done more changing and soul searching. The more I find out about myself, the more passions I uncover, the more amazing the people are that are drawn into my life.
It’s no secret to any of you that I have been hurt. That’s one of those things that no matter how hard I try, I just can’t cover up with a smile. It's a part of life. So I’ve just done whatever I could do to get through it. I’d never have gotten as far as I did without the people in my life right now. Strength is contagious apparently.
So thank you to those of you who have guided the sculptors hands and helped me to become the person I am today. I am comfortable in myself, the decisions I make, and the people I surround myself with.

“The heaviest of burdens crushes us, we sink beneath it, it pins us to the ground. But in the love poetry of every age, the woman longs to be weighed down by the man’s body. The heaviest of burdens is therefore simultaneously an image of life’s most intense fulfillment. The heavier the burden, the closer our lives come to the earth, the more real and truthful they become.
Conversely, the absolute absence of a burden causes man to be lighter than air, to soar into the heights, take leave of the earth and his earthly being, and become only half real, his movements as free as they are insignificant.
What then shall we choose? Weight or lightness?”


I’ve got an awful lot to do between now and departure day. The next time I write, it will be from the Pacific shore of Guatemala.